31 December 2015

Show some kindness going into the New Year



At a media party thrown by one of the corporate companies in town early this week, a colleague came with a female companion. Her slim body and long legs were covered briefly by something that looked like a dress.






She seemed intelligent too, offering stock market tips just like a seasoned expert, as well as advice to world leaders on what needs to be done to avert climate change and the current refugee crisis around the world.






All male guests instantly got drawn to her like some deranged bees to a rose flower. Half that lot was interested in her for both the dress – which kept going higher with each word she said – and for the words that kept flowing out of her mouth like water from a broken fountain. After numerous shots of tequila, my colleague became jealous and irritated that his date was no longer talking to him.






Which was only acceptable because he is boring. I too would not talk to him yet I have known him for close to five years. Besides, why would anyone talk to a guy who was dressed up in a Santa Claus costume when there was a girl who was practically dressed in nothing and would constantly moisten her lips in ways that would make us rush to refill her glass?






Eventually he snapped and they started exchanging not-so-good words. She ripped apart his tattered Santa Claus beard. The fight ended with Ruth telling Peter, he should not be talking or even standing next to real men because he is ‘after all a one style man.’






“You just want to lie there on your back like you are some kind of dead deer,” she added.






“What have you tried to do about it,” he asked, trying to keep a straight face in the midst of the drunken stupor he was in.
“There is nothing I need to do about it. You are the man, man up.”






We froze. Unfroze and started walking away so fast one would think a bomb had been thrown in our midst. Even those of us still interested in Ruth’s petite figure and turquoise net-like dress could not dare look at her again, lest, by some stupid luck she mentioned some of our fetishes.
But we ‘felt’ more for Peter. This was wrong on all fronts. This was not supposed to be the venue and time for a fight this magnitude.






But unfortunately it was. He had been laid bare by someone he trusted to join him in his bed, with body and some of his secrets, like ‘lying there like some kind of dead deer.’
This was way below the belt.






As a couple, Ruth and Peter should never have attacked each other’s areas of personal sensitivity.
No wonder he has not recovered from the embarrassment. He still walks in a daze but has vowed to move on. He has promised to take time to focus on his own thoughts and the feelings that were hurt.






just like Ruth and Peter, relationships will always experience hostility and resentment when either of the people involved feels slightly unloved.






As we enter the New Year, avoid mistakes that will damage your relationship. Show a little kindness to your partner just so they know that you care about each other and the relationship.
cabangirah@ug.nationmedia.com






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