I want my space

I was watching this movie…it’s actually been a long while since I sat down to watch one. Anyway, in the movie one of the characters, an old man of Greek origin is stressing his granddaughter about how she must get herself a Greek boyfriend unlike her mother, in other words, his daughter who married a ‘foreigner’.
He said she needed to get the marriage done in good time in order to avoid a case where her “eggs’ (child bearing abilities) grow old. In the movie, the young lady is aggravated by her family which is quite interested in each and every detail of her life. She comes off as teenager who is suffocated by all the ‘love’ and prying into her ‘space’.
Watching this movie made me think of many things.

Firstly is the fact that children grow up so quickly. One moment a child is your little baby calling you mommy and looking up to you and the next moment the same child who is not so little anymore and is perhaps attempting to be bigger or taller than you is addressing you as mother.

There are many moments when my child tells me to give her space or privacy and frankly speaking I can’t help but roll my eyes. I have severally reminded her that it wasn’t too long ago when I worked and changed her diaper to which she loudly wonders when I will stop the blackmail.

Of course it’s not blackmail; in my not so humble opinion, I actually changed her diapers but I guess that’s a debate similar to wondering whether the egg came before the hen or the hen before the egg.

I was thinking of the transition many a children make from being little and dependent, from being sweet and cuddly to being independent and fiercely desiring their own space. Moments when you have to learn to be careful around her and her schoolmates lest you say the wrong thing or give off the most awkward expression.

Then I thought about matchmaking. Is it even worth a thought? Should it be a cause for alarm the kind of friends or spouse one’s child keeps? Should children be allowed to pursue their own dreams? Sometimes it feels like the parent wants to live their own dreams, especially their failed dreams through their children.

I wondered what my reaction would be if my child opted to settle around the south pole despite growing up in the equatorial zones. What about a child who chooses to marry a Chinese with Japanese descent? Would that be agreeable with me?

The bible teaches us to raise children in the way they should go and when they are old they won’t depart from it. I guess that is the only standard that really works. May God help us to teach our children the values that will help them make perfect choices as He gives us the grace to live with those choices.

-mirembeabola@gmail.com