You are going to hell faster

I was at the Centenary Park roundabout, in the middle of the highway, waiting to cross the road.
I turned to my right and to my deep alarm saw a street preacher strolling my way, wielding a bible and yelling biblical warnings. Agitated, I held my breath as I waited for him to pass me.
He stopped right behind my shoulder and murmured into my ear.
“Jesus loves you, sister.”
“Go away!” I snapped.
He shouted, “Ho! You don’t want?!”
How considerate of him to want to make sure.
“No, ” I confirmed, waving him away in a ‘shoo!”gesture. “I don’t want. ”
A responsive audience! I had just made his day. He raised his bible higher.
“Young lady, do you know Jesus is coming back? You need to REPENT your sins, and be ready for his coming!”
“‘Kindly stop shouting in my ear, and GO AWAY,” I cried, cradling the offended object.
He delivered his missive.
“You know you are a malaya and a waragi drinker!”
Gloves off.

“You judgmental cow!”
‘You are a sinner!’, he shouted back furiously. “Don’t you know there shall be a grand resurrection and you shall be called to account for your behavior here on earth?”
He was now hopping on his feet and foaming at the corner of his lips. I kept interrupting him to say things like:
“Stupid!”
“You are going to burn in HEEELLLLLL!”
“I’m going to burn in hell?” I laughed. “You just called me, a total stranger, a prostitute and a drunkard. What kind of Jesus do you worship? A psychic? You’re the one going to hell!”
“No, madam, you are the one going to hell.”
“No, you’re the one going to hell.”
We could have continued like this for some time, and possibly got physical (I’d have run and he’d have chased me), if I hadn’t noticed traffic officers staring at us.
The road had been clear to cross for some time now.