Isaac Olupot and the couple’s first son Chrispus Akonya Olupot. Akonya was born in December 2012. Photo by Abubaker Lubowa
In Summary
Tragic. As high school sweethearts, Isaac Olupot and Christine Akiror dreamt of a blissful future together. But on September 29, 2015, tragedy struck the couple after Akiror died shortly after child birth. Olupot shares the story of how her death left a gaping hole inside his heart. He told Esther Oluka how he is coping.
On October 29, 2015, Isaac Olupot posted on Facebook, “Today makes exactly one month since you went to your new home. Surprisingly, I write this post with a smile on my face. The only song ringing in my head is hosanna, hosanna in the highest. Just having a week of celebrating the short time God gave us to stay together. With lots of love from our handsome babies. RIP (Rest in Peace), my love.”
Although I wasn’t personally known to Olupot, this post forced me to browse through his newsfeed something that made me discover that most of the posts he had written, a number of them were in honour of his deceased partner’s memory. Some of them portrayed a man who was still in a state of grief and shock.
For instance on October 14, 2015, Olupot posted: “I am wounded, my heart is bleeding. I feel like life is so useless. I hate everything. I can’t stop crying.”
I took a decision to reach out to Olupot despite not knowing him personally. I sent a message on Facebook requesting for his phone number to talk. He sent it and I called. I introduced myself to him and he was very welcoming. His tone was vibrant. He mentioned that life was very tough but then he had no choice but move on. In the end, he accepted to share his story.
We finally met on a Friday evening. Clad in a pink long sleeved shirt worn over a suit, Olupot stood up to receive me flashing an infectious smile as he ushered me to where I was to sit. From the way he talked, I got the feeling that he was a bubbly person. Once we were all settled, Olupot began to narrate the times he once enjoyed with the love of his life, Akiror, before she passed on.
How they met
The two met in 2008 while studying at Emma High School in Kikaaya, Kawempe Division. Akiror was in Senior Four while he was in Senior Five.
“I still remember the first time I lay my eyes on her. She was reporting to school and since I was a health prefect, I was designated with the responsibility of asking students if they had carried basic items like toilet paper, washing soap, among other things,” Olupot says. “The turn came for me to check her and words failed to come out of my mouth. I was then forced to tell her to go.”
From then onwards, the two would exchange pleasantries whenever they bumped into one another in the school compound. As time passed, they became friends and shared details about their personal lives.
“I told her about the challenges I was facing as my mother was singlehandedly struggling to pay school fees for my seven siblings and I. She comforted me stating that all was going to be well as God was in control of the situation,” Olupot says, adding: “I was humbled by her gesture and from then onwards, developed a soft spot for her.”
Meanwhile, Akiror also opened up by discussing her family background with Olupot. She shared her childhood frustration of parents who had rejected her and how her grandparents had taken up the responsibility of looking after her.
“I guess it was such difficult backgrounds that drew us closer as we eventually bonded and fell in love,” he says.
According to Olupot, his girlfriend then was beautiful both on the inside and outside, humble, caring and God fearing.
Relationship tested
The strength of their relationship was tested while the two were at Kyambogo University in 2012. Akiror conceived. At the time she was in her first year while Olupot in his second. Both were students for a Bachelors degree in Social Work and Community Development.
“I remember when she mentioned that she had missed her period, I laughed hard. She slapped me across my face as a gesture of showing what she was saying was not a joke,” he says.
As the news started to sink in, Olupot realised that this was going to be a huge setback for both. Worried, he turned to friends for advice.
“Hang in there. Take care of Christine and the baby,” is what many told him.
He listened and immediately applied for a students’ work scheme where a student works and the university pays them a salary in return.
“My job jurisdiction involved ticking meal cards and sometimes serving food at the dining,” he says. “The money I earned would help me look after Christine and myself.”
Although Olupot had been a little sceptical about letting Akiror move into his rented house outside the university, circumstances forced him to change his mind.
“Christine mentioned that I was everything to her and that there was no one else to turn to. I had to let her stay,” he says.
Meanwhile, Akiror put school on hold because of financial issues as now she had to save every little penny she got to take care of the baby and herself.
The couple gambled through life together and on December 22, 2012, the couple welcomed their bundle of joy, a baby boy they later welcomed Chrispus Akonya Olupot at Naguru Hospital.
“I was so happy to become a father. I was excited!”
Lady luck smiled on their way when he was appointed Minister of Information, Transport, Communication and Mobilisation for the year 2012/ 13 at the university.
“It was a good thing because I often got allowances which helped me take care of my family,” he says.
Baby number two
In 2013, he graduated and immediately got a job at Stanbic bank where he worked as a relationship officer until recently.
“The money I earned was fairly good and I allocated some of it for Akiror’s tuition because I wanted her to go back to school. I believe in education,” he says.
That same year, she resumed her studies at the same Kyambogo University. Akiror went back to study her initial course while juggling motherhood.
One day, Akiror discussed the idea of having another baby with Olupot after reasoning that by the time graduation came, she would be done with child bearing and would now be only left with the responsibility of job hunting. Olupot bought the idea although initially he had wanted only one child.
“I accepted. We planned to have another baby and also an introduction ceremony right after she delivered,” he says.
As the year 2015 began, she conceived. She carried her pregnancy for months without much difficulty.
It was until September 29, 2015 when something happened that changed the couple’s lives forever.
At about 5pm of the same date, he received a phone call from Akiror screaming: “Honey, I am in pain.” When he inquired about her whereabouts, she responded, “Honey, I am home and trying to get to hospital,” before suddenly going off.
He immediately left work and boarded a taxi to their residence in Kireka outside Kampala. The heavy traffic jam however, forced him to alight from the taxi and jump a boda boda instead.
Upon reaching home, he found that Akiror was not there. A relative made a phone call informing that she had delivered a baby boy at Naguru Hospital. He was later named Christian Okiror Olupot.
He immediately gathered a few things including baby clothes and made his way to the hospital. Family members and friends received him with loud cheers before handing over the baby to him. They gathered and said a little prayer before proceeding to see Akiror.
“I found that she had already been cleaned and was pacing up and down,” he says. “In a jovial mood, I went over and thanked her for bringing our son to the world.”
The only trouble was that she had not eaten. Olupot therefore decided to go out and get her some food. Just as he was exiting the door of the private ward Akiror had been admitted to, she screamed: “Honey, first come. Honey, come.”
Olupot rushed back to her side before she proceeded to say: “I wanted to give you two boys and God has honoured that request by giving them to us. I bet in the year you embark on your dream career of becoming a politician, they will be the ones saying, ‘vote for daddy!” Olupot replied, “Thank you.”
She then added: “But, I have one request for you. Take care of my kids.”
Tragic end
Before he knew it, she shut her eyes. The baby who was struggling to breastfeed began to cry while he ran out screaming in a loud voice: “Nurse! Nurse! Please come and help me, something is not right.”
The nurses and doctors came and performed a few examinations before putting her on a wheelchair.
Her head however, just tilted to the side. Suddenly, blood started oozing beneath the wheelchair where she was. One of the doctors checked her again and realised there was no heartbeat.
“At that point, I realised she was gone. Immediately, I started running around the hospital, crying. My family members grabbed me, put me in the car before driving home. They locked me up before returning to the hospital,” he says. “They left me alone.”
Olupot says he contemplated suicide at some point while inside the house but brushed the thought aside after reading the Bible. He even consoled himself that maybe she was only unconscious and that the doctors had made a mistake.
But when he made phone calls to his family members in the hospital and no one picked, it sank in that she was gone and they were simply not replying because they did not want to hurt him.
Olupot eventually accepted what transpired and struggled to stay strong until the time Akiror was finally laid to rest. One of the things her death was attributed to was rupture of the blood vessels that eventually led to over bleeding (hemorrhage).
How her family responded to the death
Some of her family members including relatives blamed Olupot for her death stating that he had killed her. It was only Akiror’s grandparents who understood the ordeal Olupot was going through.
“Unlike the others, they liked me and reasoned that they should just let me burry her peacefully which of course did not happen,” he says.
Before she was buried, the family demanded Shs44 million.
Since he could not raise the figure all at once, his immediate family members, friends as well as himself managed to sell 17 cows and managed to raise Shs11 million which her family members accepted to take.
“It was a very painful moment as they ended up removing her body from the coffin as a sign of showing us how bitter they were. Then, they threw her body down just like the way they throw a dog,” Olupot says, adding: “We were speechless. It was the most painful thing to witness. It was a hard time but I had to deal with the situation that way.”
Life now
Adjusting to life without the mother of his two children has not been such an easy fit for Olupot.
“I stay with my elder son while the younger one stays with my sister-in-law because he still needs adequate care and attention,” he says, adding, “I check on him from time to time.”
Olupot says he has no problem posting about his ordeal on Facebook because people including those that he hardly knows have come out to sympathise with him.
“From the posts I made, people including those I hardly knew came to support me both emotionally and financially but at the same time, I have also interacted with people who have gone through the same ordeal and found a way to help each other,” he says. The 26-year-old is grateful to all family members and friends for standing by him through the ordeal as he takes baby steps to heal.
Steven Langa, a counsellor with Family Life Network Ministries says: “Grieving is not a process you can shortcut or fast forward, so you have to allow yourself to go through the emotions and feelings of disappointments. The problem usually comes in when people say: “Be strong. Everything is going to be fine,” sometimes is not right because it does not allow one to grieve well. It does not allow one to release their emotions and eventually it can end up destroying a person even mentally as they keep living in denial. It is always better to let the person grieve. After that process, they can then let in family members, friends as well as counsellors to comfort them. They usually are a good support system.
Some of the things that lead to death after child birth
• Rapture or tearing of some blood vessels during delivery as a result of conditions such as a small pelvis, poor contractions, age, health – for instance if the mother has sickle cell anaemia, among other reasons. Sometimes the bleeding might be mistaken for the usual afterbirth birth bleeding and yet it is not. It is for this reason why mothers ought to be closely monitored shortly after giving birth by doctors.
• When part of the placenta remains inside the uterus and later peels off, it can cause one to bleed profusely.
• A slightly increased high blood pressure increases the blood flow rate, therefore making blood to flow than the way it usually does eventually comprising the health of the mother.
• Not resting enough after delivery, therefore compromising her health. It is the reason why mothers are often advised to rest enough after giving birth. But at the same time, family members should often take the effort to give enough care and attention to the mothers since there are instances when they tend to focus on the baby and not her. – Source: Dr Alex Kakoraki, general practitioner at Murchison Bay Hospital, Luzira
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