Of fake opinion polls, fake Pentecostal pastors and fake witchdoctors’ claims

I am intrigued by the exhibitions of pots and kettles. Black spitting at black.
In the shabby environment of the present political campaigns, dedicated liars are spitting at dedicated liars.

But from these exhibitions, and the rare truth thrown in, together with our old prejudices, we are expected to rate the different candidates ahead of the February 18 general election.

The candidate’s shifting popularity is measurable. The game: opinion polls.
Now, the managers in this game can be honest reporters or dedicated liars.

Their raw material, the citizens who answer opinion poll questions, can also be honest respondents or dedicated liars. Liars because of mischief and contempt, or because of fear.
Where does a chain like that leave us? Your poll result could be anywhere between fairly accurate and wildly misleading.

A week back, confused by the figures, and apparently worried about a possible hidden agenda behind some of the polls, a bunch of Pentecostal preachers put this problem on the table during an Impact FM radio talk show.

By shepherd-and-guided-sheep consensus, they agreed a position. But first, a bit of the background.

For several decades, enterprising preachers have been setting up makeshift outfits to work in the gospel. Pentecostals of sorts. Among (our?) vernacular speakers, they identify themselves as Balokole, the most self-righteous description you can think of.

The preachers spread weirdly colourful beliefs, which strongly appeal to semi-educated masses expecting a God who instantly responds to their whims.

To the discerning outsider, the net effect is a trivialisation of God; whether you see God as a living entity or a poetic image shaped by human civilisation.

Anyhow, President Museveni came along and recognised their chaotic cult-like rivalling sects as one amorphous entity.
There is potential money at stake; taxpayers’ money. Patronage. Influence. And eventually more money.

Mr Museveni is not daft; so he probably knows that the Pentecostal preacher is essentially an actor, a fraud; that his claims are as ridiculous as the witchdoctor’s.

He also knows that both are here to stay, thanks to our gullible masses. To the chagrin of the Pentecostals, not too long ago, he used a political prayer occasion to say just that.
A couple of weeks ago, a formal gathering of witchdoctors and traditional healers lamented that President Museveni had neglected them, in spite of their service to the people. They also want money.

Mr Museveni is a man of different facets. And he has the taxpayers’ money to play with. He can lure, drag and keep all these shady people and their flocks in his boat.

Their honesty or dishonesty is of little short term interest to him. And for all we can see, testing their claims or regulating their “service” to the people is not on his agenda.

To their credit, neither the witchdoctors nor the pastors have ever formally demanded that the State should investigate or regulate the claims of the other group.