12 August 2016

Let’s talk phone etiquette

The phone becoming a third party in the relationship. Why the heck should I have to compete with a phone for her attention? Should I also have to call her to get her to give me full attention? The way she cuts me mid-sentence to answer her phone.

Or how she gets lost in her phone while texting, that I have to manually snap her out of it. No, that is just poor manners, it is also disrespectful, and it is irresponsible. It doesn’t matter who is right in front of her, the only time the phone should have precedence is when it is an emergency. Otherwise, let those people on the phone wait for their turn.

Andrew Wallace
The thing about relationships is that each is unique. This makes drawing a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s not very difficult. So my take on the phone etiquette thing in a relationship is rather liberal. I.e. Do what works for you.

Everyone will tell you the Do’s and Don’ts based on their judgment. But at the end of the day, you and your partner know your relationship best. Sit down and talk things through. Have a conversation about realistic cell phone guidelines in your relationship. Ask each other questions that will help establish agreeable boundaries on phone usage.

For example, you can talk about what has/hasn’t worked in the past, what you can do in the future to avoid issues, places and times when its acceptable or not acceptable to get engrossed on your phones…and come back to this conversation as often until you figure out something that works for you.

Phones, even in a relationship that has little to go on, can be a problem. I don’t like having to compete for attention with a phone. I know I have been accused of being on my phone for much longer than an average person, but never in the company of few people – where my distraction will be noticed – and always when it is absolutely necessary.

But if someone decided to part-time between their phone and your conversation then it is the first sign of their inability to pay full attention to you. And obviously, as a general rule, stay away from your person’s phone. If they are going to mess up, they can do so even and especially without the phone.

Ivan Okuda
In my humble view the whole thing boils down to mistrust and mischief. If you have no nasty business going on why should you have issues with her checking your phone and even accessing it? Save for security conscious people, having pass words and securing them so tightly as not to even tell your spouse speaks to something happening in the dark somewhere.

There is usually something fishy going on for spouses who keep their phone privacy antenna up all the time. If you can open up about bank details, some of life’s secrets to her, why and how does the phone etiquette issue arise in the first place? So who determines phone etiquette and what are the parameters? It is neither here nor there.


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