Seductive friend

Dear Uncle Joe, my girlfriend’s friend is very seductive. I’m tired of telling her off. G.K.
Dear G.K, You must be going through a difficult emotional situation. This sounds like your girlfriend’s friend is communicating her agenda to you but you seem not to be giving her the right response. This is on assumption that you have checked out the body and verbal languages of this lady and these confirm to you some hidden agenda. You should talk to her about each and everything you feel and you should also give her a chance to say what she feels for you.
Ignoring her or telling her off may not suffice. This woman might already be emotionally attracted to you irrespective of the relationship between you and her friend.
As someone who is committed to your relationship with her friend, let her know that and in addition let her know how you respect and regard her as your “sister-in-law” and that you would not like to spoil the good relationship between the two of them. Just in case she insists, then it would be good for you to let her know that if she continues with her behaviour then you might be forced to tell her friend. In case she makes such statements such as, “I do not care even if you told her”…then know there is a problem of disrespect on her side for her friend and also your relationship with her friend, hence be ready to deal with it firmly but may be first by involving another friend of theirs who is close to her.

Better still you can help to direct her to a relationship counsellor who can help her before may be you inform your girlfriend. G.K, to go that far depends on how you value the relationship of the two. Being aware that this woman’s behaviour is likely to destroy your relationship with your girlfriend when she gets to know what is boiling between two of you. And if she continues with her behaviour, then it is better to let your girlfriend know, but also let her know that you have dealt with it to some level.

Finally, take as much caution as possible, try to avoid her company as much as you can, including her phone calls or she calls you, you can give the phone call to your girlfriend to talk to her that is if you are with your girlfriend. G.K, you sound to be very serious with this relationship, hopefully it moves to another level.

Next week’s issue: Is there a foolproof flirting strategy? Nabeeta S.M.

Joseph Musaalo is a Counselling Psychologist

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