Who babysits your child?

In the past, people used to say that it takes a whole village to raise a child but this is not the case anymore. Now, it only takes the parents and a circle of very few trusted people.

Gone are the days when the neighbour was almost equal to a relative and could be trusted to babysit as the mother was away on errands. But neighbours are not the only people to be wary of, research has shown that close relations are the lead culprits in sexual molestation.

That leaves very few options in case one needs to be away from home. So, who do you entrust your little ones with?
It is true that no one can entirely be trusted, but there are people whomyou have overtime developed a good and functioning relationship. They may just be friends, or relatives or even neighbours. Those should be the first people to think about when looking for someone to babysit.

My neighbour is it
For 26-year-old Stella Kaye, a shop keeper, her neighbour has always stepped in. “If I am going to be away for a few hours from the shop, I leave my child with a neighbour, a salon attendant across the road. When he cries and I am busy attending to customers, she is the only one I can trust to soothe him until I finish what I am doing. She feeds him, washes him, and he also likes her so he does not cry when I leave. I cannot leave him with my cousin who works in the same neighbourhood because we are not close.”
For her it is not about being relatives but rather the relationship that exists when entrusting someone with your child.

David Kavuma, a counsellor at Mildmay Uganda says to many parents, as long as the babysitter or house help is humane, old enough to attend to the baby’s needs the other aspects do not matter which is a wrong perception.

Family is not always the solution
Mercy Kiberu, a businesswoman learnt the hard way.
“When my son was about four years old, I had to travel out of the country for a few days on a business trip. During the day, he used to stay at the daycare centre, but now that I would be away, I had to get someone to babysit since his father was also out of the country. When I told my aunt about the dilemma she sent me her daughter to babysit. I am not sure of what happened in my absence but when I came back I could tell something was wrong.”

When Kiberu came back her son could barely sit and would cry controllably. “He had wounds on his buttocks, and around the anus, like someone had dripped hot plastic around the area.”

She says that was a wakeup call and since then, it is only her mother she can trust with her children.

The basics
Knowing as many details as possible about the person you leave your child with is one fact Kavuma cannot over emphasise. “Knowing about how the babysitter or house help was nurtured is of great value. Because truth is, you cannot give what you don’t have.”

He says if parents want the baby sitter to love their children it is important to treat them with respect adding that if a babysitter grew up unloved, abused or mistreated, that is what they will offer.

“Some parents also want to get a good service from babysitters but do you offer good services to that person as well?” This may not necessarily be about finance, but the quality of relationship you have with the person.”

How long is too long?
Amia Catherine, a children’s counsellor at Kawempe Youth Center says how long you leave your child in the care of a babysitter depends on the circumstances surrounding your absence.

However, being away for long hours, especially till late in the night can be exhausting. She says in case you will be away for days, it is important to keep in touch with the babysitter.

And if the child is old enough to talk, you can have them talk to you on phone, every day,
Kavuma says ultimately whether it is a house help, a relative, a neighbour or a hired babysitter, the person should have a mature mind, exhibit a reasonable degree of responsibility over the child, ability to understand and apply instructions given and respectful to both the child and the parent.

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com